y'know what? I had a pretty bad day. I wasn't depressed or anything, but a bunch of not-so-great stuff happened, including, but not limited to, a 22 out of 40 on the notebook check. I hate those things. And I have to write a paper tonight, do all the research for it and everything. Oh FUCKING JOY!
g [3/31/2003 08:25:00 PM]
So I think my mom's pretty mad at me.... I refused to wash the steak pan thing, because I don't want to support the meat industry (and it's sickening, there's blood and stuff all over it). So even though we have no food, she doesn't want to buy more, because she wants to give me a "taste of my own medicine." Here's what we have in the fridge: pickles, olives, salad dressing, spreadable fruit, peanut butter, a few small containers of leftover food that are marked with red dots to show they're claimed, some bread, milk, english muffins, a head of cabbage.... Sounds good, huh? PB&SF sandwich is the only option. Oh joy. And snacks? One can of peaches that I am so sick of it makes me nauseous (is that a weird word or what?), some extremely unappetizing corn crackers, dried & salted vegetables (mmm (sarcastically) yam...!), and a bunch of peanuts. I can only stand a few peanuts at a time. Oh I think there are some imitation trisquits too... trisquits aren't the greatest snack, plain, trust me that's what I had yesterday. So I decided to bring a couple bucks to school... on the off chance a peanut butter sandwich doesn't carry me through the day....
g [3/28/2003 06:50:00 AM]
and so ... I hate myself. What a revelation. It's really bugging me, to tell the truth. That's why I was dressed differently Monday, in case I didn't tell you fifty times; I wanted to be a different me, one I like. And I was, for a day. Ah well.
g [3/21/2003 10:20:00 PM]
I'm trying to accept my mother and her imperfections. The trouble is, she has accepted her imperfections to the point that she excuses them. And she goes and says shit and shut up in front of my brothers. She asks us where they got "friggin."
Are all mothers so hypocritical? I would complain more, you see, but I have a feeling the answer to that question is yes. She yells at us when we interject a comment into her conversation with one of our sisters, but she yells at us when we don't let her interject a comment into a conversation that doesn't include her. Conversation isn't the word I mean, really. Argument.
And she yelled at me when all I was trying to do was be nice, and help her see what Atira was saying, and mediate, like I usually do. But she always feels "ganged up on." So we're not allowed to back each other up. I do the same for her, but she doesn't ever remember that.
g [3/18/2003 08:15:00 PM]
...and I went back to my bad mood. I went back to my old self, back to my old mood. I really can't stand this person that I am! I am who I was yesterday, that's the me I like. Adding to my bad mood, this afternoon, was hurting blisters, ankles, and knees. I understand the blisters, my socks were too short yesterday, but I don't know why my ankles and knees have sharp pains when I run. I'm tired, too.
g [3/18/2003 05:43:00 PM]
Why does Ashley hate me so much? I'm not mean to her, although I could probably be nicer, but that would just make her more mad I'm sure. It just makes me really sad that someone hates me.
g [3/17/2003 06:01:00 PM]
This sucks. God knows I want to volunteer. I tried to get my friend to do Habitat for Humanity with me a while back, but she's like, it's too cold, let's wait til spring. So I've never done any community service at all.... And it sucks, because I won't be able to get into NHS because of it, but it's not like I don't want to. I do, so badly, I want like hell to give back to this planet everything it's given me (ok but I mean the good stuff). I just never seem to have the opportunity, the time, or the support to. So I won't be in NHS. I guess it's my fault and all, and maybe next year I'll be able to get in - I'm definitely volunteering over the summer, every moment I'm not working or at some camp or something. Which will be never, I don't know when I'm going to have time even to work! Well if my family goes on vacation this summer I think I'll just stay home and WORK. I need money so friggin badly. But anyway, I'm going to do this Habitat thing as soon as my friend and I are free at the same time n all. Cheese, I'm disappointed in myself, you know. I am.
g [3/16/2003 09:43:00 PM]
i finally fixed aleks' link!! world, be proud of me!
g [3/12/2003 10:09:00 PM]
My beloved Mug:
"S a g i t t a r i u s . Nov. 22 – Dec. 23
"The immortal Centaur is the high achiever of the zodiac. Intelligent and strong, 'Challenge' is perceived as an opportunity to demonstrate the archers expansive skills and talents. Inspiring, just, and with honorable heart, this sign is driven by a need to believe their work has an inherent importance which benefits and influences man in a positive way. Sagittarius is a highly creative leadership sign with a sensitivity and openness to the needs and ideas of others."
Whether this is what I show to the world, this is who I am inside and who I aspire to be. My mug is my role model.
g [3/03/2003 09:25:00 PM]