A DICHOTOMY
(more frustration over war)
someone once said that if you don't help the weak then you are helping the strong. they were so right...but who is to say whether the weak or the strong is right? and if you make the fight even, then all three lose. how? well, the fighting continues and continues until all are too weak to go on or do anything anymore. the question is, how can, in the long run, the least people die? how can the least people die. not through war.
i'm so stupid; my ideas are just like everyone else's but i think i'm so special. and i know nothing. so i'm stupid and ignorant. ...no, you know what? I'm not in a bad mood right now, so i'm not going to put myself in one.
I just made myself a thumb ring. It's just a piece of junk but whatever i don't care. it says MADE IN USA on it. :>)
i also not too long past, this evening, carved a pumpkin. childish delights, you know how it is. This may sound dumb, but I kinda wish I wasn't too old to go trick-or-treating. it's fun, you get to hang out with your friends and look stupid and laugh and on top of it all, you get lots of candy!! and who couldn't use more candy? mmmm i've been wanting some chocolate all afternoon...!
i am soooo antisocial. . . . I don't mean to be, but somehow i just am, i don't know...??
i feel bad there are so many things i should be doing/should have done. i'm just too damn lazy. yep, that's right, you want ME, Ms Laziness herself, to be the President of Your Country. Vote Now.
I told Ron today how I hate all teenagers, and she's like, so that means you hate me? ... it took me a while to formulate a response to that. No, i don't hate YOU, i just can't wait until we are all more mature. Some of us are and some of us aren't she said.
god im so stupid (this comment has nothing to do with previous paragraph)
and on that note, later.
g [10/30/2002 09:18:00 PM]
Note to my Bio teacher (unfortunately I'm too nice to show it to her):
This is the stupidest thing ever. I get this stuff; why should I have to prove to you that I get it? That’s obviously not what you care about, judging by the way you grade things. I can understand having high standards, but you have to be logical; even if you can read minds, which for some reason I doubt, I don’t seem to have that ability. Your standards should be attainable. I am really regretting the fact that I have to take this class, because it is not at all enjoyable. You have issues.
Oh so sincerely,
Genai
g [10/27/2002 02:16:00 PM]
Let me explain what I mean by the world would be better without people. It's not that I dislike people... As individuals I absolutely LOVE people, I totally respect them, and wouldn't wish a single one of them substantial harm. However, humanity in general is not only ignorant, but stupid. Plus they're very close to evil. Which is odd for me to say because I don't believe in evil. Okay let me revise that statement. Once again, it's the individual vs the group thing; I don't believe there are any evil beings, and I certainly don't believe any person is evil. Yes that goes for Sadaam Hussein and Osama bin Laden and Hitler too. However, I do believe that things people do can be essentially evil. O' course this all depends on your definition of evil, but in my case I define an evil person as someone who entirely deserves to go to hell for all of eternity, and I cannot possibly believe that anyone - ANYONE - is that terrible. Everyone has some sort of reason for their actions. Hehe, I believe in hell even less than I believe in heaven!
So anyway, back to the world being better off without people, I honestly believe that if the human race did not exist, well, basically, nature would work how it was supposed to, instead of us trying to be above nature, wiping out species and habitats and junk like that. There wouldn't be - think about it - wouldn't be pollution. Wow, I would love to live in that world. (Obviously not as a human, you moron. I know what you were thinking.)
But as I said in my previous post, now we've fucked the world up, we kind of have an obligation to try and patch it up a bit.
So. Get it now?
g [10/23/2002 09:10:00 PM]
See, I could do nothing with my life if I was some other kind of animal, but I'm human. As I see it, we fucked the world, she got pregnant, and now we have to pay child support.
g [10/22/2002 03:32:00 PM]
Tired.
I didn't get to sleep in at all this weekend - saturday i had to get up at 6:30 to take the psats (fun fun fun) and on sunday i went to one of my best friends' first horse show so we had to get up at FOUR FOURTY FIVE. An ungodly hour. And the show itself was tiring, though I couldn't say precisely why - I wasn't in it or anything. I fell asleep last night at 9:11. Very quickly too.
I found out that Zach doesn't care about anyone but himself, which was very sad. Before, I hadn't had a serious conversation with him, and thought he was really cool and all - okay, I still do, but it made me sad to hear him say that when he grew up he wanted to do nothing; that's his highest aspiration. :>( I honestly just don't understand that; I couldn't live without making a difference somehow. I guess Mrs. Dalcin was wrong when she said she thought everyone wants to make a difference.
Goodbye goodbye goodbye,
Solemnly (probably just because i'm tired),
~G~
g [10/21/2002 07:23:00 PM]
I just had to tell my friend (Mia) something that I didn't want to, but I felt I had to. It wasn't fun, and it made her really mad, not at me, but the other people involved. I just hope that I heard wrong - but I really don't think that I did.
I don't want it to bring down my happy day, though.
Um. I was going to say other stuff, but maybe I should just leave it at that.
Badminton starts in about half an hour.
Not quite so cheerily, goodbye.
g [10/17/2002 05:54:00 PM]
love, love, love! I love the world, I love myself. I had a good day today.
I just realized I never ate lunch; instead of going to the cafeteria, I stayed in the ceramics room and worked on my project. I love clay! I'm so glad I'm taking ceramics; I just wish I could take it all year. Instead, next semester, I have to take Bach to Brancusi. Stupid class. Oh well.
Oh and in gym today we didn't have to run, which I was afraid we would have to; instead we got tested on our serves. I've improved mine a lot, and even though they didn't go in when she was watching, I got a 3 out of 3 because she was testing on form.
There was a Spanish club meeting today, I paid my dues, and it's such a dumb club, but oh well. I can't wait til Mock Trial starts! It starts next tuesday!!! Unfortunately it'll be a civil not a criminal case but I'm sure it'll be fun anyway. Tonight I have badminton club, at 6:30. Good thing I don't have much homework!
This is awfully boring stuff, since I'm in a good mood, but I figured otherwise - if I only wrote when I was depressed and all - it would be a really depressing blog. Sooo... Boring, or depressing? Which should I choose?
Time for a snack! Goodbye!
g [10/17/2002 03:29:00 PM]
What is this? We are trying to keep "peace" by further destroying it.
I don't want to talk to you; I just had a bad day. Normally that would mean I do want to talk ... write ... but today, I hate you. That basically translates to "I HATE MYSELF"
I feel like I have to know everything, especially for my American Studies class. Does Mr Pezza realize how stupid it makes me feel when he points out how amazingly smart Mike is all the time? Ooh, Mike watches the news, he's so smart. Look at Mike everyone, he does so well, and he already knows everything I'm teaching you. Oh shut up Mr Pezza!!! Sorry if I'm not perfect. Sorry if I don't know how to study, or what your favorite historical figures did. I'm just NOT all-knowing!
I think people should vote on war. I mean, if we're going to have to fight in it, and support it, and all that fucking crap, we should at least have some say in whether or not it happens. If you ask me, war is always a bad idea, and I don't care how you justify it. It still is what it is: a bunch of innocent civilians dressed up in uniform and KILLING each other! I'm sorry, but do you have a death wish? Do you think it's fair for a couple of "people up there" to assign a whole country one??? People don't realize that the other side is people who don't realize that we are people who don't realize that they are people who don't realize that.... Get it? They're as innocent as we are. We have no right to kill them. Yeah, so a few of them killed a bunch of us. ...How is revenge the answer? Then they kill some more of us. It's a vicious cycle, and who wins? The one who is the most murderous. The most bloodthirsty one, the one who can collect the most broken and bleeding, dead human beings wins. How is that fair? No, I really want to know? It's like doing rock-paper-scissors to decide whether the world is flat or not -- It has nothing to do with it! That's a two-year-old mentality, that the one who wins is right. So why are we getting into a fight? Can't we just compromise? No, of course not, we're AMERICA, the almighty America, we can't "give in" like that! We can't be REASONABLE!!
Remember learning about propaganda in school? Did they ever tell us that it applied directly to our lives, except about body image and drugs? Okay, it's a little more serious than that!! You know, we don't ever hear the other side of the story. Of course not, who wants to know the WHY? Well, I do. Because when it all comes down to it, that's what matters. WHY did they attack us? WHY do they hate us? Do you know? I don't. Because who's going to tell us? Is Bush, who's trying to get us to support a war against them, going to help us see how human they are, how rational in their hatred? Of course not. He's Patriotic. Aren't we all. You see why I have to be President? You SEE???!!
I have to go do my fucking homework so I can ace my classes, so I can get into an IvyLeague school, so I CAN become president, and change the world. Ha. WE CALL OURSELVES A DEMOCRACY. Well, I want to make us one....
g [10/16/2002 05:13:00 PM]